Natasha DeMaio, LMFT
Feel it to Free it
You’ll hear me talk a lot about positivity, but I don’t want to downplay the importance of FEELING your feelings; because that’s important too. One of my 3 year old daughter’s instructors (who is amazing by the way) said something along the lines of “Show me those smiles. We don’t want to be sad. We want to be happy!” It really got me thinking about how we view “negative” emotions as bad and we do everything we can to change them or make them go away. Whether it’s by avoiding them with distracting ourselves or trying to convince ourselves that they’re silly or unjustified and trying to talk ourselves out of a feeling.
What if I were to tell you that feelings aren’t good or bad, they just ARE! What if you sat with that “bad” feeling and met it with acceptance? Maybe you say, “Hey sadness, I see you, I hear you, I feel you. I have a right to be sad. It’s OKAY to be sad.” Read. that. again. It’s okay to be sad.
What would that be like to take the pressure off yourself to change that feeling? And do I dare say, FEEL it?! Yikes.. scary I know. 😬 But what happens when we dismiss our feelings? Panic attacks, headaches, road rage, anxiety, insomnia, weight gain, “attitude”, tantrums, avoidance, passive aggression, addictive behaviors, etc, etc, etc... •\
I notice that when my clients get the “okay” to accept their emotions (they first look at me like I’m crazy 🤣) but then they usually say that it sounds easier than trying to fight it. The next time you notice a “negative” feeling, I encourage you to acknowledge it, feel it, experience it. What do y’all think.. am I crazy?😜 P.S. I’m taking my own advice this week. I tend to be a “negative feeling avoider” myself. 😬#yougotthis